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阿福公司每年聖誕節都有一個很豪華的聚餐，有人單身赴會但絕大多數都是攜伴。剛來美國時對這種大型宴會很新奇，自己都很全力以赴，幾年過後過足了癮但也變得很沒勁去了。四五百個人我認識的只有阿福辦公室那五個人，而且都是男人也沒啥好講話的。去年看到一個媽媽帶一個約10歲的兒子，在宴會前一個鐘頭是雞尾酒會時間，也就是大家站著喝酒寒暄的好機會。我都是找一個角落靠著背拿著酒杯。。。。微笑。看到那個很無聊苦臉的小孩我冒起一個想法。。。讓雙胞胎代替我參加宴會。他們也有機會看到大世面也有機會跟親愛的爸爸跳舞。
這就是這次第三次世界大戰的契因。
今年十月我們跟雙胞胎講這件事，問他們是否有意思跟爸爸參加。兩個人當然很興奮，但是只能帶一個，所以決定老大今年然後老二明年 。
我很了解我的丈夫他是講的就算了。我提醒老大要記得跟媽媽說要準備一件好看的洋裝和鞋子。
我也很了解前妻是怎樣的人。十一月第二星期他們來過周末，我問老大衣服準備了沒?
她竟然說" 媽媽說可以穿紐仔褲和運動鞋去參加，小孩子沒關係"。
我說 " 妳身高167公分絕對不是小孩尺寸了。妳媽要羞辱妳爸，但我保證妳到了那裏會很想挖地洞藏起來的"。
隔天周六我下完課馬上帶她們兩個出去逛街買衣服。老大很高但像竹竿一樣瘦，也沒胸。很多衣服都無法穿，這12歲年紀也無法穿太露或太老成的衣服。老二很幫忙的在試衣間幫她拉拉鍊，扣釦子。最後我們終於選到一件很可愛的黑色無袖洋裝。但是時間不夠無法挑鞋子和外套。所以打道回府。
隔天早上我越想越生氣，就發了一封信給前妻。。。sarah told me that you don`t want to buy her a cocktail dress to the Christmas party,and also told her it is ok to wear jean & sneakers.you might want to embarrasse my husband but also you will embarrasse your own daugher too.you had been to company party many years,you should have known the dress code is. i took them shop today and got her a dress,if you dont want to do the shoes shopping,i will do with them when next time they come." 星期日中午阿福出好心要帶大家去看電影，買了票進到電影院等了四十分鐘，放映機故障。所以看不成只好去mall逛。阿福走沒五分鐘就消失了。雙胞胎跟著我。我說我們來碰碰運氣是否可以找到鞋子和薄外套。到了店裡我就說分開來找比較省時間。老大還是愣在那裏不知所措。老二就很認真去找。一個鐘頭解決了鞋子和黑褲襪。阿福爸爸說回家。
回到家我翻我的衣櫥就然找到一間灰黑色的毛毛小披肩還有一個黑蝴蝶結。把老大叫上樓問她喜不喜歡。然後叫她把全部組合在一起穿下樓給觀眾評分。她超級興奮。大家也給她拍拍手。我問她要不要把衣服帶回家去給媽媽看，她說" no,i want to keep them here"
這是第三次世界大戰的埋伏地雷。
隔天我帶我外甥去大西洋城outlet血拼。我在starbucks等他五個鐘頭。看書和上網。阿福forward 前妻的email給我。
她說 "thanks to your wife (連我名子都懶的寫) for buying sarah a dress.Becky came home very upset because she cant go to party with you. i wonder if you can get another guest ticket for becky to go. if you cant get a ticket,neither go.(死三八)。
我跟阿福說她根本就是在說謊，而且還忌妒自己的女兒要去她以前去過的聖誕節宴會。老二從頭到味都是表現很認真熱誠的一面在幫老大選衣服。我還讓她試了兩件小禮服哩。還跟她說明年我也會陪她一起選衣服。
阿福叫我不要管了。我怎可以不要管?這樣的結果就是阿福會說小孩子不要去了然後叫我去就解決了。那孩子呢?老大那興奮的表情會如何變成失望?
所以我馬上email給那個必區.
我說 " you were lying. Becky was helpful to choose a dress for sarah.she even offered herself in the dressing room with sarah to help.sarah is excited to go to party.NO MATTER WHAT,she is GOING.i am officially their step mom no matter you like it or not.in fact,they listen to me well than listen to their dad.
The old version of cideralla,she wanted to go to prince`s party but the step mom did not want to give her a dress so she needed to ask a fairy to help.
The new version of cinderalla ,her own mother did not want to buy her a dress because she is jealous of her own daugher.so cinderalla has to ask her step mom to prepare her a dress to go to party.
i asked sarah if she wanted to take the dress home and show you.she said " no, i want to keep them here" isn`t it weird? she is supposed to be very excited to you show you her dress and how beautiful she is.do you really think why,how and what?
因為在starbucks太無聊了，而且阿福一直text來叫我住手。 去他媽的，你沒去罵她還來罵我。所以我越寫越興奮。在最後一張信裡我還恐嚇她 "i will show twins all the email among three of us to see who is the lier"。她從頭到尾都沒回我信但是我想一定有回阿福。我還留了一句話給她 "if you want me to call you regarding about twins,i am much better talking then in writing"。
阿福說 "妳如果要引起世界大戰，要考慮到我。我工作已經很忙了，我要養兩個家。。。"。這將讓我很生氣了。每個人除工作養家也會有其他人生大小事每天發生每天要解決的。
我回到家後兩個人大吵一架。。。。一星期沒講話。。。。沒講重要的話。。。剛好他在生病。。本人完全不理他。。。就跟你說除了工作之外人生是有無限多的小風波的。。。人生哪有那麼好都是風平浪靜。日子好過有一半是我的貢獻。。。。
而且我做了一件蠢事。哈。阿福本來是要出去出差，然後感恩節後才能回來。所以很早就把生日禮物給他了。吵完架我很是生氣，所以我把那一組古龍水組全丟在浴室垃圾桶裡。阿福那個人要經過頭腦想過才會知道為什麼要吵架的原因。吵過許多年大家彼此心知肚明。一星期後他把古龍水撿回去櫃子放，我也倒了垃圾。
前天雙胞胎剛踏進門，我就跟他們說" 有一件事我要問清楚到底是怎麼一回事?"
我先問小的 " your mom said that you are very upset for not going to party this year?"
她說 "no, i am not. my mom made up everything herself"。
我說 "that1s what i told your dad and her. you were very helpful to pick the dress for sarah, how come you came home and immidiately felt upset the whole things?
我看阿福 " did you hear that?" 他說 "i asked them on the way home"
好吧!!!大家都知道誰是頭腦有問題的那一個。
基本上我是勝利者。
是說離婚有必要讓自己弄到這麼悲慘嗎?
我為什麼要如此大費周章?我只是要孩子正常一些而已。mom doesn`t listen and dad doesnt talk.what the hell...
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